she won’t leave me alone!

[xl0velym3rm4idxMember]

i ended my friendship with a psycho crazy person, who’s clingy, bossy, demanding, needy, pushy, manipulative, overdramatic, selfish, etc…. about 3 weeks ago because i couldnt take it anymore. In that time that i ended things, she’s used multiple numbers to try to reach me, created a fake fb account to add and message me, and showed up at my house again at 6 (she did that quite a few times when we fought and i didnt answer her calls) She even had the audacity to leave me a voicemail asking if we could talk, some mumbled stuff i didn’t understand, and that she hopes i call her back.
i never called her back, and now she’s calling me using multiple numbers again and now sent me some emails:

Hey,
I feel like I super messed up. all along i was telling you that you were being a baad friend when i was the one being a bad friend. i feel really sorry for that.
i hope you will accept my apology…

I hope you are doing good and you started school probably. i am really lonely without you i miss you a ton. i also wish i could have looked into myself instead of pointing the finger. i let others influence me which isnt good. shana finally is officially moving out. she influenced me in a bad way and made me a worse person. i really appreciate the classes you got for me. i am super grateful to have a friend like you. im sorry and i hope you will accept my apology….

there is no way im forgiving her… she put me through so much ****. But she doesn’t get it. So i think i should reply to her email, saying something like “Leave me alone. I’m not your friend anymore, and if you continue to pester me, i will go to the police and get a restraining order against you”
what would you do in this situation? I also have a blog and have been ranting about her on it, should i show her so she knows how i feel? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

[anonymous]

Xlovelym–I have had two friends like that in the past, and all I can say is ugh! I feel for ya! She is probably just being nice to you right now and taking some blame so she can reel you back in. Don’t fall for it! But I would be careful with writing about her on your blog. I am a journalist and a lawyer, and I would be careful about writing about other people if readers can determine who you are talking about. The truth is a defense, but I wouldn’t want to misstep and have her sue you if she thinks she can prove that what you are saying is false or putting her in a bad light, etc.

[cancankant]

This is akin to stalking and is scary.  I would let her know in uncertain terms that you no longer want to talk to her and that she needs to stop calling, emailing, etc.  Then cut off all contact and do not respond to any of it.  Save any messages or emails, but don’t respond.  If she shows up at your house, I would tell her to leave or simply don’t answer the door.  If she doesn’t leave, call the cops.

I was friends with a woman like this, although not nearly as aggressive towards me.  She pulled a lot of crap like this toward ex boyfriends, though, even going so far as to go out to an ex boyfriend’s new fling’s home and spray paint things on her garage!  She TOLD me about this, too (she was proud of it!!!).  The woman was in her 40s as well, but had been pulling crap like this for years.

When I decided to cut off contact with her, I was very worried she might do something uber crazy, but I got lucky.  She left a few voicemails and messages, but nothing weird.  We are still casual (we will message each other on FB from time to time), but the crazy behavior has made me pretty gun shy.  A lot of these women can be very fun when they’re in a good mood (or when things are going good in their lives), but when things go to hell for them, they’re downright dangerous.

[Aurel]

My youngest was born prruatmee 12 years ago. When I brought him home from the NICU I was completely overwhelmed. It was a very different experience than my older kids. I found an internet message board for moms who had preemies. They gave me so much support and encouragement. I was able to “relax” and enjoy my baby because they answered so many of my questions. I am still friends with many of these women today. There are a couple that I speak to on a daily basis (through email and facebook) We hsve also taken trips together to Vegas and NYC. Some have visited my area we get together for dinner. They are my REAL friends. Then I met some of the people I have met on this blog are now a daily part of my life. It’s amazing!

[Coffee]

hey xlovely, I dont understand this person’s behavior, its very odd and obsessive. theres so much going on in the news today, that i would report this to the school. I believe every shcool has a counseling program for students, maybe you can do a sit down with her and tell her why youve ended the friendship and how you would like to move on, and this way its documented. good luck to you.

[Author]

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