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Hypocrite

This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  greenbird 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #180361

    eliza
    Participant

    I have lost touch this year with a best friend of 10 years. I cut her off, the friendship has been going downhill for a long time and she has done a lot of things to hurt me. I’m just over it. I’ve deleted her off of all my social media except for facebook and the only reason for that is that I don’t care that much about facebook. I don’t use it to be honest, just on there sometimes to scroll around when i’m bored and there are so many people I know but don’t talk to on my facebook..it just didn’t really matter. Anyways long story short, I deleted her off of my social media because it hurts me to know that she is doing good. Maybe that is an awful thing to say? I can’t stand the fact that she can be such an awful friend to me (and a terrible person in general) but act like such a nice goody two shoe on social media. After being forced to focus on JUST her for 10 years (her problems, her success, how much better she is doing than me and how I have to be happy that she’s doing better than me) I found myself not wanting to wish her well. When I see her on social media doing well, it makes me angry and I almost want to ask for some sort of explanation (if that even makes sense). Like how can you be doing that well when all you do is hurt people. So, to stop myself form becoming this negative person I cut her off and have as little contact with her as humanly possible.

    Then I see a picture of her on facebook the other day. She is at my old work place, where I got her a job and after I left she had constantly told me how they had liked her way better than me. What took me off guard was the fact that she was having dinner with a girl who she HATED. Not only does she hate this girl, she constantly talked a lot of sh*t about her. Constantly telling me that this girl is nasty, a b*tch, disgusting, untalented, ugly ect. The thing is, this girl has never actually done anything to my ex-friend. The only reason she dislikes that girl is because they both do modelling and that girl was getting more success. Otherwise, they don’t even know each other very well. Yet suddenly they’re having dinner, and the girl is captioned as ‘bae.’ I thought this was completely hypocritical as last year, before I had cut my ex friend off I had dinner with another girl, also in the modelling industry who my ex friend did not like just because she was competition. I actually wasn’t allowed to have dinner with her, for so long I had to avoid talking to this girl because my ex-friend would constantly be saying things like “don’t associate with her, she’s trash. She’s not talented, i’m way more pretty, I’ve got more drive, I’m more successful.” Finally I couldn’t avoid the dinner so I just went, and she turned out to be a really nice girl. I got into so much trouble with ex-friend over it. She lost her ever loving mind over it. So I find it somewhat hypocritical that she is having dinner now with another girl she also ‘disliked’ and said so so so much bad things about.


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  • #180377

    tammy
    Participant

    If you deleted her off your social media I don’t understand why you are still seeing pictures of her and know about her life? Delete, block, unfriend…do whatever you have to do so you don’t have to know about her business. Obviously this is upsetting to you and there is not likely to be any repairing of this friendship if it has been going downhill for so long. Yes, it’s hard to be happy for someone you really dislike. I don’t keep people on social media that I don’t like. I don’t do the “frenemies” thing. Do yourself a favor and cut her completely from your life, don’t compare yourself to her and don’t worry about her motives for doing what she does. Move forward and the first step is to make a clean slate.


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  • #180378

    T
    Participant

    Stop looking at her Facebook page. Seriously, just stop. Time to block all her posts and you won’t see them anymore. There will always be bad people in this world and the less energy you waste on them the better.


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  • #180383

    CrystalBallGazer
    Participant

    The thing to remember about social media is that not all of what you see is real or true on there. Many people use it to live fantasy lives and try to portray to others this fantasy life. People that actually live real successful lives dont have to post endless photos of themselves hoping for views and likes of their photos and waiting for people to ask them what they are doing etc. I no longer have fb because I prefer a quieter private existence and Im not interested in what silly stuff people are doing,what bar they are drinking at or what pose they are doing.I know two girls in their 30s actually who if you didnt actually know them you would think….wow how lucky they are and how successful they are and look at all those pics of being in the cities most popular expensive bars drinking expensive booze etc, while holding LV and Gucci hand bags!!…wow lucky them.But I talked to one of them the other day and the truth is their lives a re a chaotic mess,they have no money as they waste it every week on going out and are living at home with their Mum still. They are horrible disorganised and are living like teenagers in their early 30s, with nothing.Id say their lives are far form successful…..its just interesting to see the person in the flesh and often what you will find is something very different to what is on fb. One of them said FB is all about people being envious of each other which was quite funny considering she was one of the people who do all the selfies and posing at bars herself….which is entirely their business in the end I know.

    I wouldnt be too worried about what your ex friend is doing on fb, just stop caring about it and delete her off your page. She knows that by you keeping her on your friends list you still care what she is doing and shes feeding off that…..dont give her that luxury.


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  • #180392

    tammy
    Participant

    That’s a great point Crystal made, some of these people are totally fake online. They paint a rosy picture of their perfect life but in reality they are depressed and insecure. Just because they say life is grand doesn’t make it so!


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  • #180398

    eliza
    Participant

    Thanks for all the comments guys, I appreciate all the advice!


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  • #180450

    greenbird
    Participant

    There is no reason to follow her or keep in contact in any way if it brings you misery. Trust me, after a week or two or blocking her you will feel so much better!


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