How is friendship even possible?

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  CrystalBallGazer 4 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #180839


    I have several acquaintances and a few long term friendships which are maintained over the due to our move overseas years ago.

    I want to say however, that I have no deep friendships or even friends who call to chat or invite me to do stuff with them and this is despite my belonging to a really open intnl but transitory community of ppl who all want to make friends. Also I have a child in a fairly politeness conscious school.

    Basically I feel like either my looks pretty rohect a she’s not cool-keep away sign,or, I give off some other stay away signals. Not sure exactly what it is but I am direct, I am honest, I don’t gossip and am friendly. Deep inside I imagine these people picking me apart and I in turn can’t help but find something I don’t like in everyone. Working past that is hard and somehow even seems impossible. No one is perfect so why do I feel like I have to try and be someone I am not? How do other ppl get past tgat- IE you like their hobbies but politically want to destroy them, or religiously, or maybe parentally? When getting to know someone means Deep disagreements are likely how can this be resolved?

    I am speaking as a parent of a 7 yr old boy who also does not have school friends which I totally blame on myself. Parents seem to their kids to be friends with kids when they are first friends with the parents.

  • #180841


    As we age our friendships change and we are often busier with our own lives so time for outsiders gets limited. Dont take it personally if people dont seem to want to be too close.I personally dont have people around every week,nor do I talk to friends weekly either. I am busy with my own kids and family anyway.After maintaining a home and providing all the meals,cleaning etc I bushed so I cant be bothered with anyone after that. Dont automatically think you are at fault,it may just be people like a private life that is relaxed etc.What about joining a club or night class to meet new people you will find something in common with?,and it could start with something you are all there doing?.I dont think that friendships are as close as they were when we were teenagers and had all the time n the world to sit around and talk all day,its just a different kettle of fish as we age,and it doesnt mean we are worth any less either.


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