A woman feels slighted by a close friend and wonders if she is being overly sensitive.
I have been friends with a woman for over twenty years and consider her my BFF. I introduced her to my childhood friends and she’s included in travel and regular outings. She does not invite me to any such outings with her friends.
Recently, she has been going on outings with a woman that I had a conflict with and she’s posting on social media referring to this woman as “her girl.”
She’s a very nice person and people gravitate to her. She always gets a lot of attention about her looks and style. Sometimes it’s like she seeks attention.
I love her dearly but I’m feeling like backing off from her because I feel slighted from being excluded. Am I being over sensitive?
Just because two people are friends doesn’t necessarily mean they have to include each other in their respective social circles all the time.
While it was nice of you to introduce your Bestie to your childhood friends—who seemed to have welcomed her into the group—this doesn’t obligate her to do the same. Another thing to remember is that even if someone feels like your BFF, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are hers. It sounds like your friend is very social and makes new friends quite easily. She may feel as if she has many BFFs. Yet, she also seems to treasure her long-standing relationship with you.
It’s normal to feel a tinge of hurt or even jealousy that she’s calling this new friend “her girl,” especially if the woman is someone you don’t get along with. By the same token, you can’t really judge your relationship with your BFF by her relationships with others.
Should you back off? It depends whether the relationship with your BFF no longer feels satisfying or rewarding, or if you can’t overcome the feeling of being slighted by her having other friends. Perhaps, it could be helpful to spend more time with your other friends and pay less attention to her musings on social media. But given the importance of this friendship to you, I wouldn’t back off entirely.
Hope this helps.
Category: KEEPING FRIENDS