As circumstances change, relationships with old friends may fray, too.
My childhood friends were, of course, my best friends in the world. But now that we’re in different high schools, I never really get to see them that often. They never invite me out.
I’m the one who always has to do the inviting to spend time with them. Two of them didn’t even invite me to their birthdays this year. I just don’t understand why they would just cut me out of their lives like that.
I’m annoyed that I constantly feel neglected. I get the feeling I’ve wasted ten years of my life on the wrong people. They’re really nce people so this is just weird to me. I no longer want to text them or anything. As I said, one had her birthday, and the other one is planning on having one, so why am I not invited if they invited all the other people in our friend group?
Honestly, my life depends on me having someone to lean on, and they’re all leaving me so suddenly. I have ONE friend in the entire world now, and she’s also invited to the birthday.
I feel betrayed by the fact that I saw pictures of them with other people with whom they never had close friendships. I feel like I don’t play an important role in their lives even though they all play a critical role in mine.
I can’t help but feel depressed because I’m all alone and am not a very social person anymore. I’m home all the time and I’m anxious because I feel like I can’t be friends with anyone because it takes too much effort, and sometimes/most times, it’s not even worth it.
When people change schools or workplaces and no longer have day-to-day contact with each other, this often changes the nature of their friendships. They no longer share the same experiences or see each other as often. In different environments, people may grow in different directions and have different interests. Friends may no longer have the same schedule and these friendships may become inconvenient.
Some of these close friendships survive if they are important to both friends but it’s common for many to fall by the wayside.
It doesn’t mean that these friendships were unimportant in the past. I’m sure these friendships were mutually rewarding at the time; more over they helped you become the person you are now.
You mention: “I feel like I don’t play an important role in their lives, even though they all play a critical role in mine.” And that is probably the case.
It sounds like you are desperately clinging to these old friendships and not cultivating friendships at your current school. If you are feeling too anxious or depressed to make new friends, you may want to speak to a counselor at school to see if he/she has some suggestions for you.
If there is one person in the old group that you feel especially close to, you may want to see if you can occasionally get together. But you need to make sure that you aren’t leaning too heavily on her just because you have no one else.
Hope this helps!
Category: KEEPING FRIENDS