Friendless in Seattle

Dear Friendless in Seattle and Anonymous, I would love a conversation on those "friends" we have for weeks or months who suddenly drop us for no apparent reason. Just when you think the relationship is really clicking and has staying power - poof! - gone. What the _____? And tell me how successful you've been at exonerating yourself? Of course not; it must be something you did that caused them to vanish. It is really no different than the hordes of women that write about the man they've been dating for months who suddenly won't reply to their calls or emails. But they get loads of positive responses from other females commiserating the same fate. However, if a gal does the very same thing to her gal pal, it is acceptable. Somehow, you expect more loyalty from friends but I haven't found it to be true. I am exhausted trying to rationalize the behavior of women which is often disloyal and petty. And god forbid you try and confront a friend with her inconsistent or inconsiderate behavior; you will be left feeling worse than if you said nothing at all. The advice is almost always to confront the offender in the most gentle and nonaccusatory way. Tread lightly. I rarely have found the confrontation enlightening or consoling. And things never seem to go back to the way they were originally if at all. Belle