A mother is concerned about the impact of her daughter’s ADHD diagnosis on her friendships.
My daughter with ADHD has exhibited some bad behavior in the last two weeks that have taken a toll on her friendship with her best friend. I believe she has learned a lesson and will try to be more in control of her emotions but impulsivity is one of her issues.
She is very troubled by the damage she has done to the relationship and I want to help her mend things. Can you give me some help on helping her mend this friendship and helping her develop friendships going forward? I feel like she is her own worst enemy, all she wants is to have friends but her impulsive and sometimes mean behavior is making it difficult.
You haven’t mentioned your daughter’s age. If she is old enough to handle her friendships on her own (school age and above), you can coach her about what to say and help her learn the steps she needs to take to apologize to her friend.
You might even help her draft a note expressing her regret over her behavior and asking for forgiveness. If she and her friend are old enough to understand Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder, you might suggest that she explain that it is sometimes difficult for her to control her emotions and ask her friend to help remind her if she makes a similar mistake again.
If your child is young, you might want to speak to the other girl’s mom, explain your daughter’s diagnosis and ask for her help in getting the girls together to remedy the problems that occurred. Additionally, you may need to be around to monitor their play.
Unfortunately, it is common for children with ADHD to have difficulties making and keeping friends. Everyone deserves a second chance (and more), but if this is a recurring problem, you might want to consult with the mental health professional that is treating your daughter. These behaviors may suggest that she isn’t being treated optimally in terms of medication and/or behavioral treatment like social skills training.
It’s great that you recognize she needs your help to prevent her from becoming isolated socially.
Hope this helps.
My best , Irene